Darkness (The 100 4x07 Fic)
by meowkoshka
Summary: Kane talks Octavia down from killing Illian by reminding her of Lincoln's death at Pike's hand in the same spot Octavia was standing. She runs away from Arcadia as the memory surfaces. However, what if she and Bellamy wound up getting stuck in the cave together during the black rain instead? *I do not own The 100. I do make direct quotes from episode 4x7.*


Octavia was determined as she lead the mob outside the Ark - pushing and shoving her way past the crowd of spectators. The two men holding onto Illian shoved him down to his knees. Anger continued to brew within Octavia as she started at him.

"Octavia, please don't do this." Monty whispered as he ran up to her side. "You're not a murderer."

"You're wrong," she said and cocked the gun, bringing it up to Illian's head.

Illian looked up to Octavia as she hesitated. "Get it over with." he said. Octavia fiddled with the gun in her hand.

An alarm brought Octavia's attention away from Illian for a moment as Kane yelled. "BLACK RAIN! Everybody get inside!" People obeyed him, running to take shelter indoors.

Octavia didn't move.

"Octavia," Kane said softly but firmly. "Octavia put the gun down, and come inside."

"They put Lincoln on his kees, too." Kane continued.

Octavia swallowed the lump that was forming in her throat. She adjusted herself and refocused the gun on Illian's temple.

"Pike stood right there."

An image of Pike raising his gun to Lincoln's temple rose up in her mind. Octavia's breathing quickened.

"Right where you are standing. When they put a gun up against his head."

"I was there." Octavia replied, closing her eyes and seeing Lincoln's face, looking out into the distance. When he whispered, "May we meet again." in his native language. Octavia's hand trembled as she continued to hold the gun.

"You do this," Kane whispered. "You do this and you're no better than he was."

Octavia heard Pike shoot the gun once again. Blood shot out as the bullet passed through the other side of his skull. Lincoln's eyes were no longer looking at anything. He was just a falling body.

Octavia sucked in a ragged and laboured sob. Tears were dripping down her face.

She dropped the gun.

"Its alright." Kane whispered as he stepped forward and lightly touched Octavia's arm. "Its okay." He moved forward to place a steadying hand on her back.

Octavia wrenched herself away from Kane as she continued to cry. She gripped at the wound in her stomach and began to run.

"Octavia, wait!" Kane called. "Where will you go?"

Octavia didn't know where she would go. What she knew is that she couldn't be on the same ground where Pike murdered Lincoln. She couldn't be in Arcadia. She couldn't be where she didn't belong.

She only belonged with Lincoln. He was her home. And her home was gone.

So she ran.

* * *

"We're here," Bellamy said to Clarke over the radio before stopping the Rover. It had been a long day and he was just glad to have finally arrived at the lab. He got out of the Rover and kicked his feet at the dirt, looking out at the water. Clarke walked up to stand next to him.

"I'm gonna take the Rover back to camp," he began.

"Octavia?" Clarke asked.

"Its pathetic, right?" Bellamy continued, nodding his head. "She hates me, but I keep coming back for more."

"She's your sister, she's blood." Clarke replied, smiling up at him. "She'll come around and see how special you are."

"Clarke, if I don't see you again-"

"No, you will."

"We got a problem!" Rowan called from the back of the truck.

Clarke and Bellamy ran over to meet him.

Rowan turned one of the buckets around. "Trikru arrow," he said and kicked the bucket over. It tumbled to the ground and the lid popped off, revealing that the contents had leaked out over the course of the trip.

"No." Clarke breathed.

Bellamy brought his hand up to cover his face. "Clarke..."

"Bellamy, go back to Octavia - she needs you."

Bellamy nodded before giving Clarke a quick hug, then walked back to the Rover.

He couldn't stop thinking about his sister as he drove home; his mantra of _My sister, my responsibility_ played on a continuous loop in his head. Ever since Lincoln died there was a deep pain in Octavia's eyes, and a darkness growing within her. He had been allowing her to push him away, but he couldn't let that happen anymore. It was duty to be there for her.

He picked up the radio in the Rover, "This is Rover 1 to Arcadia - do you copy."

"Bellamy?" Monty's voice came over the radio. "Did you make it okay?"

"We lost a barrel." he replied. "But thats not why I'm calling. I'm on my way back to camp. I need to take care of Octavia."

Silence came over the radio.

"Hello?" Bellamy called out.

"Bellamy," This time it was Kane.

"Whats going on? Is Octavia okay?"

"She's not at camp." Kane replied. "She was about to execute Illian, just like Pike did to Lincoln. I talked her down, but then she ran off. I'm sorry."

"I'll find her." Bellamy replied.

Just as he hung up the radio, he saw a flash of a horse running through the trees. Stopping the Rover, he pulled out his binoculars and searched through the trees. He quickly spotted the horse once again, and his sister riding it, wiping at her eyes. She was crying and his heart broke. Bellamy started the Rover once again and pulled it along the edge of the trees. He got out and ran on foot, following in Helios's tracks.

* * *

Octavia heard the rumble of the Rover cut off near the edge of the trees. She turned but couldn't see who was driving it. She continued to walk on in the woods, wiping once again at the tears that were on her cheeks. She swallowed back the emotions that Kane tore out of her.

A branch snapped behind her.

Turning around she saw her brother crouched low, slipping through the trees.

 _Great,_ Octavia thought and stopped Helios. She hopped off of the horse and hid behind a tree, watching as Bellamy crept closer to her horse. She slipped behind him and held one of her daggers up to his throat. "Why are you following me?"

"O," Bellamy replied. "What are you doing out here?"

"Kane told me what happened. You almost murdered Illian."

"It would've been a just execution."

"Oh like Lincoln's."

Bellamy saw anger flare up in his sister's eyes.

"You have no right to-"

The sky thundered up above and raindrops began to fall, stinging as they made contact with the skin. Helios whinnied in pain.

"Black rain," Bellamy said.

"Get on." Octavia ordered, pulling up her hood. "Now!"

Bellamy scrambled onto the back of the horse and they rode quickly in search of cover.

* * *

Darkness had fallen quickly as Bellamy and Octavia arrived at a cave. They scrambled inside, groaning as their skin burned from the rain.

"There's fresh water!" Octavia called out. The two stripped down to their undergarments and splashed the water on themselves, washing away the burning, acidic rain.

"The black rain.." Bellamy said quietly.

"We're stuck in here until the storm passes." Octavia said. "Doesn't mean we need to talk. I need to wash off my horse. Make a fire."

Bellamy rolled his eyes as he gathered some wood in the cave.

* * *

Once Bellamy had the fire going, and Octavia had cleaned off Helios - the two sat quietly. Octavia sharpened her blades along a rock and stared angrily at the fire.

"Where were you gonna go?" Bellamy asked.

Octavia continued to stare off into the fire.

"Look," Bellamy continued. "I was so angry after Clarke left. We both pulled that lever, and she just left. I almost let that anger consume me. I shouldn't have sided with Pike."

"Great you see it now. It only cost Lincoln his life."

"I never wanted him to die!"

"Go back to camp, Bell. You're not a murderer. You felt the way you were supposed to feel after taking a life at Mount Weather. Me, I feel nothing."

"I don't believe you. I see the pain in your face, and your eyes Octavia. I bet you felt that pain when Kane talked you down earlier today."

"We're done talking."

"You may not want to feel it," Bellamy continued ignoring his sister's demand. "But its there."

Octavia breathed out, and squeezed her eyes shut. "I should've pulled the trigger."

"Then why didn't you?"

"Just shut up."

"You think you're a killer, but you couldn't kill Illian. Whatever escape from the pain you were feeling wasn't there anymore."

"Just SHUT UP!" Octavia stood, grasping her knife tightly in her hand before kneeling over the puddle of water in the cave.

Bellamy crouched to kneel closely to Octavia. "I think the Octavia that was there before all this happened, is still in there."

"You're wrong," Octavia whispered and then stood. She stared blankly ahead and moved almost robotically as she stepped over the fire and walked to the entrance of the cave.

"O!" Bellamy called after his sister but she didn't listen. "O!"

The thunder flashed brightly as Octavia opened her arms at the entrance of the cave and stepped out into the open space.

"Octavia, no!" Bellamy yelled and ran after his sister. He grabbed her from behind just before she was engulfed in the rain storm.

"No!" she cried out, reaching out to grab the edge of the cave as Bellamy dragged her inside. "No, I need this!" she cried again, struggling against Bellamy's grip. Bellamy grunted against her struggles.

"I need this!" she screamed out. "I need to feel something!"

"Stop!"

Octavia pushed against her brother as her feet touched the ground.

"I should've killed _you_ when I had the chance!" She smacked at Bellamy's face, causing him to stumble. She fell on top of him and scrambled to get up. Bellamy quickly flipped her over and held her to the ground. "Let me have this!" she cried.

In her defeat, the anger and rage turned to sadness as she began to wail.

Bellamy stood and lifted his sister into his arms. Once they were closer to the fire, he sat her against the wall. Keeping an eye on her, he quickly grabbed a blanket from his back and wrapped it around Octavia's shaking form. He sat down and pulled her into his lap, cradling her and all the pain she bottled broke out of her. She continued to wail loudly as the storm raged on outside. Bellamy pulled her tightly to his chest.

As much as he hated seeing her this broken and hurt, he was glad that she was allowing him to comfort her.

"He was my home, Bellamy." Octavia cried. "He was my home."

"I know," he whispered into her hair, giving her a small kiss and rubbing a strong arm across her back. "I'm so sorry."

"It hurts so bad I could die." she groaned.

"I know."

Octavia carried on like this for at least an hour. She wailed loudly until her voice gave out. Her body shook and tensed as each sob. She clutched at her abdomen as it tensed against the healing wound. Bellamy placed his arm over the one holding her stomach and held her tightly against his chest and he continued to rub her back. He rocked her back and forth whispering, "You're okay. I got you. I won't let anything bad happen to you."

As Octavia quieted Bellamy heard her whispering to herself. Leaning in he heard the words that she was saying. "I'm not afraid."

Bellamy smiled a little to himself, that his sister was repeating the words he taught. Maybe she would forgive him after all.

"O, you don't need to be afraid. I'm right here." he whispered.

"Bell?" she whispered looking up at him.

"What is it, O?"

"Am I ever going to move past this?"

Bellamy closed his eyes, sighing deeply. "You're strong, O. And this, right now, is you moving past it."

"It just hurts so much." she replied, her voice wavering as more tears poured down.

"I know it does." Bellamy replied, smoothing back her hair.

Bellamy and Octavia sat in silence in the cave for a few moments, as the black rain continued to pour down outside.

"I'm sorry I hated you so much, Bell." Octavia whispered sleepily.

"I deserved it, O. I was a dick."

"You can say that again," she muttered through a yawn, smiling into her big brother's chest. Bellamy breathed out a laugh.

"And O?" Bellamy continued. "I'm sorry about Lincoln. I may not have killed him, but I didn't make the situation any better."

Octavia nodded against his chest.

"You should get some sleep," Bellamy said, helping her sit up. "We can talk in the morning."

Bellamy helped Octavia settle into the blankets near the fire, before curling up into his own on the other side.

"I love you, O." Bellamy said.

"I love you, big brother." she whispered back to him as she fell asleep.

 _Maybe we'll get through this,_ Bellamy thought to himself as he fell asleep. _Or at least Octavia and I will take on the end of the world as a family._


End file.
